I don’t really know how to write/type, or even how to start a sentence anymore.
Ok, probably I have just done so.
In Buddhism practice, they said that you don't need to go to hell to be in hell, or heaven to be in heaven. I was in hell for the past few days.
For the past week, I have a gut feeling that something is going to happen in my house. True enough, my gut feeling never fail - at least 60% of the time. I see things happening; I know what's coming in a few steps ahead.
The 1st day of September, my dog's hernia was punctured. Probably it had been awhile but I didn't notice it right in front of my eyes till that night. Panicked, yes. First thought, how do I even bring my dog to the recovery center? My mom was asleep and I don't even have license to drive out the road yet.
I didn't think much. I packed my bag, get myself changed and carried her out and looked for a cab. Thankfully, the cab accepted and we were at the center within a short time. It was a second of shock upon reaching the destination. The lights were off but there was a note on their door to lead us to another door. It seems that there wasn’t any vet right in the middle of the night. It was already 1am in the morning.
Her bleeding had stopped quite sometime ago, not even a trace of blood. Until the part when I was taking the photo (above), she fell off the seats and all the blood was spraying out form her lump. The whole floor was bloody, and my hand was covered with it too. Shock the hell off me.
I was given two choices; call a vet over and check her out (and consultation fee will be from $289 onwards) or come back again tomorrow morning. Calculating the cost of coming over again tomorrow morning, it’s way cheaper than $200. I chose the latter.
The next day we went back and the vet examine her. I was given another moment of decision-making again; leave it, bandage her or use a crystal-like medication to stop her bleeding or risk it with surgery. She’s already 14 years old this year, more like 14.5 (which is equivalent to 101.5 human years). That spilt moment I was thinking – why didn’t I make the decision or go ahead with my plan more than a year ago when she was younger? It was a big risk; the consequence of losing her. I don’t know how I manage to even decide. I told the surgeon that I’ll risk for the surgery after all she’s already at such state and condition. She told me to go back tomorrow.
That’s fast. Real fast. I don’t have the time to prepare for anything. Mentally preparation, that is. However, I have the faith in her.
I brought her back at almost 11am the next day. The surgery will start in approximate 4.5 hours. I stayed with her throughout, and even during the surgery.
It was quick. Snip and snap, the surgeon came out in less than 1.5 hours. She said the lump was all fat tissues and was taken off, pushed back the intestines, and all tumors were removed. She told me don’t be shock to see her because there’s a lot of stitches under her. I waited for her outside the room and I could hear her cries. The kind of cries that I have never heard it from her. I know it’s painful and it broke my heart badly.
An hour later, they told me to pick her up in the surgery room. She was there – barking at the wall in trauma. The moment I carried her, she stopped and flop herself into my arms and begin to sleep as she’s still in anesthesia.
At that moment, I realized how important am I to her; knowing how tired she was yet she will wait till she sees me. She was knocked out while I was paying her medical fees. Mom picked me up and we finally head back home.
I was very vexed when she couldn’t sleep the first night. She walked around the house 7 hours non-stop as she couldn’t sit or lie down due to the pain. I can’t sleep either, because I don’t know what should I help to relieve her. I just can’t help but to cry. It’s too torturous.
Until 6am+, I finally gave up. I went into my Mom’s room and told her that I can’t take it anymore and decided to sleep. She told me Coco slept almost the same time as me after I woke up. I was relieved.
She managed to pass her second night well, and now it’s pretty much stabilized.
In 8 more days time, she needs to head back to remove the stiches. It will be painful. :(
I really thank god that it all happened at the right time as I'm heading to Aussie in 2.5 weeks time. Given enough ample time for recovery and such.
And I thank to my friends who showed care and concern for us, especially Mr BigBird. I really woke up to my senses after that call.
My tough little girl. :)