For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
@ Saturday, November 06, 2010
"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting through the wind Wanting to start again
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards One blow from caving in
Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under scream But no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you Cause there's a spark in you"
Watching this MV gives me bit of a courage to let things out but something has been pulling me back all the time. Still, not giving up and not letting it go. Over persistent? Stubborn? Whatever you can find a word to describe.
Today feels pretty much like a Sunday after the long "weekend" due to Deeparvali public holiday. And what I'm gonna do is to have a time for myself at home. Feels boring but I don't know what else to do outside other than have my weekly run. I don't dare to resume back my 5K runs yet. Afraid that the shin splint may come back again and I'm not on form for my Swissotel Vertical Marathon in 2 weeks time.
Hah, yeah. Marathons? People will question me a lot on this. It sounds so unlike me. I used to hate outdoor activities, the sun, heat. Exercise is my foe. Only recently I found my love for them. Pretty much good mind food especially for broken hearts and they are free anyway (not really). Much of personal self achievements actually. I don't know what else to do to boost up my self esteem and morale. Not sure what I'm capable of, too. I do envy and idolise females who are very active in sports. They makes me wonder why they have such strong mindsets to accomplish tough challenges.
I'm still hitting back to gym at least once a week. Only went once this week after 2 weeks of not going back there. The shin splint was so painful that I have to limp while walking. God knows why didn't I goto a physiotherapist. Maybe I felt my life needs so many fixing. ENT, PSY, PHY, what else? I need to goto the dentist too. So much that I felt its so painful to my pocket and makes me wonder... "Are all these necessary?". Maybe.
Other than these, I'm gonna purchase my very first mountain bike before Christmas. (Hope.) As for Cl3A, hoping to get it by early next year.. Or shall I hope that I'm in time for end of year slot? Seriously hoping for it with first attempt. It has been a burden inside me for so many years.
The shopaholic bug is running in my blood nowadays. Buying things to make me happy. I should seriously quit it. But main intention is to change things around me. De-clutter the old stuff. Starting from my wardrobe, and slowly to myself. I don't know how long will I take as so far I never succeed. Feels like a failure but I hope this endless cycle will end.
I'm trying my best to strike the balance between all different kinds of interest (well you know I'm not a person who only does shopping and shopping and endless shopping). I've lost my passion in photography. A shame of myself. Just hope something will strike me to rekindle the flame in me. I know I don't need to wait for something to happen but I just felt my life feels so full. Full with nothing that I don't know what else to put other things in. (Don't know what I'm talking but I hope some of you can catch my point.)
So yeah.. What I'm gonna do later is to clear whatever piling stuff which I've piled up for past month. Re-migrate my iMac, AGAIN. (Gosh, this is so sickening). They are using the room once again and I got to move to somewhere else. I think this is the 4th time I'm shifting to 4 different locations. I have to shift it again next year and god knows where can I move that time.... Out of house probably..? Ah, I just can't stop yaking over this.